Do any of you know about the WobbleBottomBird?

Not one of you? That’s really strange, in fact, it’s quite absurd!

For everyone should know about the WobbleBottomBird,

A very dangerous creature – in case you hadn’t heard.

And so, I’ll tell the story of a strange young man I know,

A tale that’s full of horror and a tale that ends in woe,

And when it’s done, you will have heard how dangerous it can be,

To cross the WobbleBottomBird: just listen and you’ll see.

This strange young man was named McPodge, a boy who liked to eat,

Lovely things like puds and cakes – he found them such a treat,

And since he truly loved to eat, he had a great big tum,

With only one thing bigger still – his great big wobblebum!

As well as this, this odd young boy, this funny-looking fellow,

Whilst being rather strangely built, had hair both wild and yellow,

His cheeks were red and podgy, he had ears that stuck right out,

He also had the strangest eyes (of that there’s little doubt).

The left was small and blue, and it moved from side to side,

The other one was big and red, and made him look cross-eyed.

But that which was most striking? Well, his wobblebottom bum,

That wobbled even more than his great big wobbly tum.

I know this sounds amusing, but McPodge was just so sad,

He’d never had a friend at school, was such a lonely lad.

Everyone would shout rude things, and call him horrid names,

Make fun of him, and pick on him, exclude him from their games.

Just because he liked his food and had a great big bum,

All the kids insulted him, said things that made him glum.

It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair, but what could Dougal do?

His peers just didn’t want to know – disliked him through and through…

If only they had looked at him, looked underneath his skin,

Behind McPodge’s wobblebum, they’d find a boy who’s thin,

Find a boy with dreams and hopes and lots of things to say,

A boy who longed and hoped and prayed to play with friends each day.

But Dougal knew he couldn’t win, he’d have to make a plan,

So every night he prayed for help – whilst eating lots of flan.

And then one night it happened, as he lay in bed he heard:

Way off in the distance was the WobbleBottomBird!

The sound was truly scary, for it screamed and shrieked and squawked,

As Dougal wobbled out of bed, and to the window walked.

He drew back both the curtains, and looked out into the night,

He wasn’t sure what to expect: oh, what an awful sight!

Outside his bedroom window was the WobbleBottomBird,

Making such an awful din – the worst he’d ever heard!

And then he looked and realised (although the light was dim),

The WobbleBottomBird had a wobblebum like him!

It also had a great big tum and ears that stuck right out,

It also had the strangest eyes (of that there is no doubt).

The left was small and blue, and it moved from side to side,

The other one was big and red, and made it look cross-eyed.

So young McPodge remained quite still and wondered what to do,

Then watched the window open up – he felt himself float through.

He floated out into the night, he drifted on the breeze,

He landed on the great bird’s back, and strangely felt at ease…

It flapped its wings and shook its head and opened up its beak,

And said in quite a posh voice: ‘Did you know that I can speak?

I’m here tonight to help you out, to make your dreams come true,

I think that you should come along to watch what I can do.’

And then without another word, the two of them took flight,

Up and up, without a care – a truly awesome sight.

They flew for just an hour or two, until the new day dawned,

And then the WobbleBottomBird just turned its head and warned:

‘Young Dougal, this is your last chance, and only once I’ll ask:

So shall we dive back down to earth and then complete the task?’

‘Of course,’ said he, ‘It’s what I want, I want them all to know.

Just how I feel, how sad I am. Come on, my friend, let’s go!’

And so the WobbleBottomBird flew down to Dougal’s School,

Where all the other children played, the ones who thought it cool,

To shout rude things, insult the lad, and call him horrid names,

Make fun of him, and pick on him, exclude him from their games.

And as the WobbleBottomBird swooped down above the yard,

They all looked up in total shock: he’d caught them all off guard!

(Now Dougal knew that normally it’s not polite to stare,

But on this rare occasion, well, he simply didn’t care).

‘Let them stare,’ he said out loud, ‘I want them all to know,

That Dougal is a special boy – so let’s give them a show!’

The WobbleBottomBird then swooped (even lower still),

And next – to Dougal’s great dismay – ate all the kids at will!

‘What have you done?’ young Dougal cried (for what else could he say?),

‘I’ve just done what you asked me to, asked every single day.

You asked me to get rid of them, said this would make you glad,’

Replied the WobbleBottomBird: ‘I hope that you’re not sad.’

‘Of course I am!’ young Dougal cried. ‘I can’t believe you ate them!

I wanted them to understand – I didn’t really hate them!’

And so the WobbleBottomBird then turned, and said quite lightly,

‘You really are ungrateful, lad!’ And ate him too (quite rightly!)

Epilogue:

The moral of this story is: please try not to be mean,

Or else the WobbleBottomBird may eat you: as you’ve seen.

Instead be nice to others whilst you’re here upon this earth,

And then you’ll find your life is full of sweetness, joy and worth!

© 2024 David Elliott – All Rights Reserve