How do you say ‘yes’ in Portuguese?

Language is a strange thing. It’s useful if you want to communicate. Not so useful if you don’t want to or don’t need to communicate. But it’s still a nice to have.

Having said that, I remember when I first came to Portugal (and not much has changed since, to be honest), I loved the fact that I could hardly understand anything going on around me. This meant that I could tune out. I could live in my own little bubble. I could happily enjoy my own company, and only emerge out into the world around me when I chose to, when I chose to be sociable, when I chose to see a friend or two.

I really am trying to learn Portuguese nowadays (honest guv!), and I can actually now say a lot of the things that I want to say – but understanding someone speaking to me in Portuguese, especially here in the Algarve? No bloody chance. Speech here is so fast. Words seem to be missed out, as do syllables and individual letters. Sounds come out of people’s mouths that make no sense to me whatsoever. I try to copy these sounds, but my mouth just isn’t made to do it. I’ve never been good at impressions, and nothing has changed now that I’m in Portugal.

Bloody hell, life should be easier than this.

Again, having said all this, I can’t live in my own little bubble so much nowadays. The world here is changing. Immigrants are arriving faster than they once arrived on Ellis Island, the main entry point to the United States during the heyday of its attempt to build the ideal society – the so-called ‘Melting Pot’. Well, that’s probably not true. They’re not arriving in those sorts of numbers, but you get the gist. Nearly ten per cent of the Portuguese population are now immigrants. So many foreigners are moving here, and with good reason: the climate, safety, friendly people, beautiful beaches and countryside – you name it, you’ll find what you want here. Yes, the dynamic is changing. I hear a lot more English being spoken now: British people, Americans, Canadians, North Europeans (who seem to have an innate ability to speak English as a second language). English is everywhere. But people do seem to want to try to learn Portuguese.

In the supermarket the other day, I was queuing up to pay for my goods. When it was my turn, the lady on the till wished me a good afternoon, asked me if I wanted a bag, told me how much I owed, asked me if I was a taxpayer (a ‘contribuinte’) and did I want to give her my NIF (my tax number, given to reduce my end of year tax bill) – and all this in Portuguese. I was doing alright, I understood and I responded as necessary – in Portuguese.

Then as I was packing my shopping bag, the lady on the till started with the customer behind me in the queue. All the customer wanted was a loaf of bread, so the lady on the till rang it up and told her how much:

‘Noventa e nove cêntimos.’

‘Sorry, I don’t speak Portuguese…’

‘Ninety-nine cents, please, and do you want a bag?’ The lady on the till had, obligingly, put her own English to good use.

And then the customer said something that made my mouth drop open:

‘Yes please. By the way, how do you say ‘Yes’ in Portuguese?’

The lady on the till looked at her quizzically, and simply said:

‘Sim.’

I think she almost rolled her eyes and smirked, but not quite.

‘Thank you,’ the customer replied, oblivious.

By this time, I’d finished packing my bag and was on my way out of there. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the customer.

Was she an immigrant? Was she on holiday? How come she didn’t even know how to say ‘Yes’ in Portuguese? And more importantly, why wasn’t she embarrassed to ask such a basic question. I would have been. And then I decided I was being unfair. At least she was trying. But then I started musing further. I enjoy a good muse:

‘What a weird word to ask about.’

OK, so she now knew how to say yes, but when would she ever use this new-found knowledge? She obviously didn’t understand Portuguese, so on what occasion would she get to say ‘Yes’? If someone were to speak to her in Portuguese, would she simply say: ‘Sim’, whatever the question or statement? I saw a comedy sketch about this very thing once, although I can’t place it right now. Oh yes, I can! Manuel, in Fawlty Towers. Andrew Sachs (God rest his soul) played the non-English speaking Spanish waiter to John Cleese’s manic hotel owner. So much of the comedy was based on these two not understanding each other. When Manuel wasn’t saying ‘Que?’ (what?), he was saying ‘Si’ or ‘Yes’.

Was this lady going to be the modern-day Manuel? I could only imagine. Surely, she would have been better off asking how to say ‘thank you’ or ‘please’ in Portuguese, wouldn’t she? The word ‘Yes’ would be as good as useless to her. It wouldn’t enable communication, in fact, it might actually lead to miscommunication.

I wandered home musing on all this, slowly coming around to consider my own need to communicate more with local Portuguese people.

Mmmm… all that comes to mind is:

‘Um dia vou saber falar português…’

In case you were wondering, that’s the equivalent of:

‘One day…’