It’s been a bit nippy recently. In fact, it’s probably been the longest cold spell I’ve experienced since I’ve been here in Fuzeta. The heating element in my air conditioning is, therefore, taking a battering, as is my pocket. Yes, my electricity bill last month was quadruple what it normally is.
The combination of thin walls, no central heating and me refusing to do the sensible thing and simply put more clothes on, has meant a vicious escalation in my electricity costs.
C’est la vie. I didn’t move to Portugal to freeze to death! Yes, people seem surprised when I tell them it gets cold here, but indeed it does, a feeling enhanced by the humidity that exists during the early months of the year. Being cold and damp is not much fun, I can tell you.
So yes, it’s been a nippy start to the year, which has been a problem, since Max, Selena and I (and sometimes Nigel, although he does seem to be something of a fair-weather sort of guy) like to swim in the sea at least once a month, so that we can say that we’ve swum all year round. Immature I know, but it tends to make us feel ‘holier than thou’ and there’s nothing wrong with that.
The problem this year has been the cold. Yes, the sea is bound to be cold this time of year. It’s to be expected, and isn’t really a problem. The problem occurs when you get out of the water. It’s then that you want to be able to sit in the sun and dry off, but this year, there just doesn’t seem to have been the right occasion for this.
But then today, the call came from Selena:
‘Fancy a swim around 1:00pm?’
And I did, I did fancy a swim. I’d just returned from a walk in the sun, and had warmed up nicely. Now was as good a time as any, I decided. I checked my weather app. Rain coming in at around 1:00pm. I looked at it. Did I believe it? Every other time I’d trusted my weather app, it had been wrong. I stuck my head out of my front door. Still bright and sunny, a slight nip in the air, but that was it.
‘Fantastic! Let’s get this done,’ I thought.
I nipped upstairs, slipped into my swimming gear, grabbed my ‘Dry Robe’ coat from the wardrobe (yes, I’d bought myself a classy, knee-length coat to provide warmth after a winter swim, but hadn’t used it as yet), slipped it on and was out of the door before you could say:
‘You mad fool!’
As I rounded the corner at the end of my street, I felt the first drops of rain, but it was nothing to write home about. By the time I’d reached Shack One, the rain was slightly heavier. I pulled up my hood. By the time I arrived at Max and Selena’s car close to the beach, it was a downpour, picking up velocity and density at a fast rate of knots. Bloody hell, his was a great time for my weather app to actually be right.
As we stood by the car, dripping, we looked at each other and laughed – there was no going back now. We soon arrived at the beach and stripped off down to our swimming costumes. Blimey, that was a bit of a shock, I can tell you. It was bloody freezing! I’m sure I could hear a shriek of laughter from up by Borda d’Agua, where I’d previously noticed a couple, having a warm drink, buttoned up to the nines, cowering under a parasol to shield them from the rain:
‘Yes, OK, we’re mad…’
Then, before you could say: ‘What the…?!’ Max was diving head first into the water, closely followed by Selena, who made a more ladylike entrance. I was still struggling to get out of my ‘Dry Robe’ and do it up again, so that the inside would keep me warm and dry after our swim. But soon enough, I was joining them. I didn’t wait around. I’ve always found that the best way to do this is to charge on in and get it over and done with, so that’s what I did.
I charged on in, dived, and realised that surprisingly, the temperature of the water wasn’t too bad. Even so, I found it a bit disconcerting when I came back up to the surface, struggling to breathe and unable to touch the bottom. Bloody hell, was this such a good idea after open heart surgery six months ago? I swam back in as fast as I could, so that I could touch the bottom, stood there regaining my composure and then stated the bleeding obvious:
‘Well, that’s enough for me then!’
Max and Selena seemed to agree, and before we knew it, all three of us were back on Terra Firma, at which point, the rain lightened. Sod’s Law, obviously…
As Max and Selena headed back towards their car, I struggled back into my ‘Dry Robe’, feeling surprisingly warm as I did so, I’ll have you know, caught up with them, and suggested that they come back to mine to get changed out of the rain – which was just as well, as it so happens.
They considered the offer and decided that it would be a good idea, too, so we headed homeward. As we reached Shack One, the tempo of the rain started to increase once again. By the time we reached the Fisherman roundabout, all hell had broken loose. I looked up the road and could hardly see the Mercado, due to the downpour. As we appraised the situation, the road itself seemed to be filling up before our very eyes, and pipes from the roofs of houses were spewing out water as if they were firemen’s hoses. Bloody hell, was this the Apocalypse? We were drenched.
At one point we cowered under an overhanging balcony:
‘Want to wait it out?’
‘What’s the point? We’re soaked through…’
And so, we persevered, finally making it home, at which point the downpour eased off once again, obviously, and eventually stopped.
I located my key in my bag, opened the door and let Selena and Max inside. The three of us stood there like drowned rats, in silence, dripping big time. We looked at each other.
‘Well, I’m glad we did that, and that’s January accounted for!’ said Selena, cheerily.
I suppose she had a point. That was January covered for another year.
Soon enough, we were dressed and warming up nicely, although my body was still tingling all over from the cold, and Max and Selena were apologising profusely for the water now covering the floor of my lounge. Now I know why we have tiles here in Portugal. It really wasn’t a problem.
Soon enough, the two of them were off, after Max had consumed the obligatory beer, and I settled down to write this.
All I have to say now is:
‘Roll on Spring!’
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