To queue or not to queue…

I doubt this will be a long one today. Too much to do and too little time… I jest, obviously. I’m just a procrastinating little so and so, who likes to put off what he can do today until tomorrow. And so, I am now up against it. It’s Sunday morning and I haven’t written anything as yet.

So, what to write about? Well seeing as I was in the UK last week, I think that I’ll write about my experience when I left Portugal, the Thursday before last.

Somehow, I’d messed up. I normally catch the early flight, and so take the 06:35am train to Faro and then a taxi from there. Today was different though. Today I was catching a lunchtime flight. Still, with stories of mayhem and carnage at the airport due to the new EES system demanding that everyone provides biometric data, I decided not to cut it too fine, so I caught the 07:53 – which was only two minutes late. Bonus.

Before I went though, I thought that I’d check how much an Uber would have cost: €17:90 as it so happens. Not bad. Not bad at all. Still, set in my ways, as I said, I caught the 07:53am.

I managed to get a seat, despite the large number of students that frequently catch this train to go to lectures at the University. To be honest, this always surprises me. Morning lectures were anathema to me, back in the day. Anyway, I digress.

I managed to get a seat and, in fact, also a free trip. Due to the large number of students, the ticket collector was struggling to get through – €2.40 saved there, then.

Once at Faro, I nipped outside the station and once again checked the price of an Uber – €6.90 to the airport. I knew that a taxi would cost me €10 to €12, but seeing as there were five taxis at the rank and I felt sorry for them, I decided to take a taxi.

The driver seemed very cheerful and happy to take me to the airport, and I’m not surprised, as you shall see. He kindly opened the door for me, then walked around the car and got in himself. He then pushed a button on the meter, and there it was – €3.25 just to get into the taxi.

As we headed towards the airport, I watched the amount I owed climb – €4, €5, €6… By the time we reached the airport, the meter read €10.95. ‘Fair enough,’ I thought, ‘about what I was expecting.’ I gave him twelve euros. I always like to tip a taxi driver. It simply seems the right thing to do.

He looked at what I had given him, then held out his hand once more:

‘Mais dois euros.’

Eh? He wanted two more euros.

‘Mas é dez noventa e cinco!’ I cried. But it’s ten ninety-five!

‘Não!’ And he pointed to a small number in the bottom right-hand side of the meter that, due to my poor eyesight, I’d missed: Supplement €1.60.

A supplement? For what? I didn’t have any luggage apart from my backpack, and that was on my lap.

There was no point in arguing though, so I gave him two more euros, meaning that I’d paid him €14 in total, €4.85 of which was for what I’d call ‘miscellaneous items’. What a rip off. My concerns? It was twice the price of an Uber, I didn’t know the price before we set off, and I had to walk to a taxi rank to get a lift. And then to top it all, if I’d paid for the train, I could have caught an Uber from Fuzeta for roughly the same money.

From now on, it will be Uber every time. They are cheap, they pick me up where I ask them to, and I know the price before agreeing the deal. These taxi drivers either need to make some changes or realise that they’re a dying breed.

So on to the carnage at the airport.

Yes, feeling a bit peeved at the cost of the taxi, I entered the airport to find a maelstrom of humanity. The place was heaving.

I took a deep breath, joined the queue waiting to get onto the escalators up to the security area, and prepared myself for a long wait.

‘Lucky I came early,’ I thought.

I ascended the escalator, slowly weaved my way towards the security gates, swiped with my phone and was through.

‘Now for the long wait,’ I thought.

But amazingly, it was here that my luck changed. I looked at the huge queue that the person in front of me was asked to join. Then the lady organising things ushered me into a new queue. Woohoo! I followed the route she’d suggested and found only three people in front of me at the security conveyors. A couple of minutes later, having removed my jacket, belt and boots (yes, I’m getting good at this now), I was through.

I was happy. I collected my belongings on the other side, found a seat and dressed myself once more. I then followed my usual habit of buying a couple of bottles of water at the machine just beyond the security area, which, disappointingly is 50¢ more expensive than last time I passed through here. That’s a 50% increase. The shape of things to come?

Anyway, ahead of me now lay my biggest concern: the immigration hall. I headed that way. Trepidation accompanied me, and as I reached the top of the stairs down to the hall (yes, once again, the escalator wasn’t in operation) I saw the mass of humanity before me. Bloody hell… This was going to take some time.

We slowly moved down the stairs, and as I reached the bottom, I saw a man who was guiding everyone (British passport holders, obviously) to the back of an enormously long queue that weaved backwards and forwards across the Immigration Hall floor. Bloody hell, this really wasn’t looking good. So, I tried my luck. I proffered my British passport and Residência (my residency card):

‘Sou residente…’ I said without much hope. And then, miracle of miracles!

‘That way, sir.’

I was directed towards the European passport queue. I’d heard that this was a possibility, but never believed that it would happen. And yet here I was, now at the back of another queue – one with only seven people in it! What a bonus! I bloody love the EES system!

A couple of minutes later, I was through, the only downside being that everything had worked so smoothly that I now had three hours to waste in the departure lounge. Bloody hell… C’est la vie, I suppose.

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To round things off nicely, on my return I was also allowed to use the EU queue, and having decided to catch an Uber home, the cost was €14.95 rather than the usual taxi fare of €30-40. Things are certainly looking up!

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(Well, that was a longer blog than expected! I apologise…)